For Just This Moment
by caramelapples
Summary: PostCrossroads. President Roslin understands the Admiral's decision but Laura doesn't.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - This fic was originally titled 'Can You See That I Have Loved You Silently?' Reading it again, I was unsatisfied and thus, I decided to rewrite it. So here it is, rewritten and with another title. There is smut in this 'revamped' version and it's in the second part. For now, enjoy!  
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For Just This Moment**

_By caramelapples_

Bill waited impatiently as the Raptor was secured and Laura emerged from the hatch, it took her a moment to register his presence and quickly looked away when she did, pretending that seeing him didn't effect her as much as it actually did. Why in the world she had agreed to come was beyond her own comprehension. If he wasn't the most infuriating man she had ever known, she didn't know who was. She fought the urge to go to him and deliver a hard smack to his face. President Roslin knew that the Admiral made the right choice, in a way. But Laura wanted Bill to love her, Laura wanted Bill to handle Baltar for her.

He strode towards her wearing a tight smile. "Madam President," he acknowledged. _Please look at me Laura…_

"Admiral." Her voice was kept cool and calm, just like her. It was a tiny acknowledgement and Bill was relieved that she wasn't giving him the cold shoulder. Well, knowing politicians, they were always polite. Falsely most of the time. Was Laura being the politician now? Or the woman?

"Shall we proceed to my quarters?"

She nodded and followed him, not quite walking beside him but rather slightly behind him so he could not see her face. When they approached Bill's quarters, she felt a growing frustration for allowing herself to enjoy his presence, to _want_ his presence, even to draw strength from him. Now just because of one simple vote, she wondered if she could bring herself to be close to the Admiral again. The familiarity of Bill's quarters send her thoughts down another road.

She loved his quarters. It was the closest to home it could get. She loved his books, his furniture and the lighting. She loved everything about his quarters. _Including the occupant… Did she love Bill? _

She didn't bother to sit down as she felt perhaps standing might allow her to escape if things got slightly more emotional than what was acceptable. _What __**was **__acceptable anyway? _She fidgeted slightly and held her hands together in front of her to keep her hands from shaking.

"You should know that it wasn't personal," he said before she could say anything. He didn't move to sit.

"You freed the man who signed my execution order," she said, already feeling the whirlpool of emotions that she feared would spin out of control. _I would've been dead!_

"Like I said-" he started but she spoke first, cutting him off.

"It wasn't personal," she finished his sentence. "You've said that already. After everything, you voted for his acquittal. Weren't the lives of so many people lost enough to convince you?" _Wasn't my suffering enough to convince you? _

"It wasn't his fault. Not everything was his fault, Laura." His voice had become more gentle now, sensing that she was already upset. "He didn't ask for the cylons to come. He wasn't exactly dancing when they came." Finally, he sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose.

She looked down onto the floor and swallowed. "It wasn't your fault either." She settled her gaze on him. "Why do you keep on doing it?" She inched closer to him.

"Doing what?" he asked, allowing some annoyance to creep up his voice.

"Blaming yourself. You're still doing it, Bill. And you don't realize that when you do it, you do it to me as well." She cursed herself for the tears that had apparently sprung up from nowhere. "Do you understand? It pains me when that happens." She was supposed to be a good politician. President Roslin was in control. Laura wasn't. She fought herself until finally, the threat of tears disappeared.

"Then don't let it pain you because I don't blame myself. And I don't blame Baltar, either." He looked up at her. "Don't blame Baltar."

"I can't help it. I can't help blaming him. You weren't down there with us," she said. _You weren't down there with me… _"He didn't-"

"He didn't what, Laura?"

She held his gaze. "He didn't do anything. He was a coward. He was a coward wielding the power he achieved through charm. The people voted for his charm, for his talk about building a new life and he didn't deliver it."

Bill gazed at her and saw through her pain. Laura Roslin _had, _in fact, held a little hope that the cylons wouldn't come back. She had wanted to build a cabin after all. _A cabin that might have been where he would be should he come down from Galactica to settle. Settle with Laura. _

When he said nothing, she cautiously sat down beside him. "I wanted to be free from the cylons as much as anyone else."

Bill watched her look at him. "I know. We all did. Baltar shouldn't pay for what he didn't do."

Laura wasn't sure as to what he was referring to, the new life or the invasion of the cylons. She decided that she didn't want to ask. Either way, the invasion of the cylons on New Caprica was why there was _no _new life. The woman in her didn't want to know that. The woman in her wanted Bill to do what he said he could do. He had said that he could make Baltar disappear. And it was for her.

"You weren't down there," she said, and regretting it instantly when she saw how his features clouded over._  
_  
He stiffened. "Do you think because I wasn't there I didn't see the suffering?" He was beginning to get frustrated. "You think I didn't know what was going on? Trust me. I knew. And when I left all of you down there…"

"Don't blame yourself," she quickly said. "It isn't your fault." Her voice became a whisper. "It worries me that you do," she told him, allowing herself to admit that she _did_ care for him. Just not how much.

Bill felt his frustration turn to anger and he didn't like that it was making him weak. He didn't like that she could see through him. "Nobody told you to care if I blame myself or not. Don't let it pain you because it is none of your business," he snapped. He watched her eyes that were reflecting a wounded look, Laura immediately disappearing and President Roslin taking her place. The hurt was immediately hidden behind her exterior just as the woman had been hidden. She seemed to be contemplating what she was going to say. Finally she stood up, smoothening her skirt although it wasn't in need of any.

"You're right," she said, her voice regaining its strength. Her calmness frustrated him even more. Her coldness made his spine tingle with dread. _Had he made their relationship worse?_ "I should probably leave seeing that this isn't going too well. We wouldn't want to make it worse, would we?" There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice but it spoke mainly of well-hidden hurt. _Hurt caused by his words. _"After all, we need a good _working_ relationship."

He couldn't bring himself to say anything and she opened her mouth to speak.

"Goodnight, Admiral." She turned and walked towards his hatch.

Bill briefly wondered if he should apologize or do something before she left until she turned to him again.

"I would have liked to believe that-" It was at this point that her voice quivered just for a fraction of a second. "I would have liked to believe that I mattered even if it was a little bit-that I _meant _something to you at all." _Like what you mean to me, _she wanted to add but didn't. She wasn't about to be made a lovesick fool, pining for the affections of a man.

Laura Roslin _never _pined.

Bill looked at her retreating form and wondered what she could have meant. _Was she saying that-no, no… Laura Roslin does not suggest… Did she? _When it had dawned on him what she meant, he stood up and in the most dignified way strode across the room to her retreating figure and grabbed her arm with much more force than he had intended, stopping her.

She turned around, startled.

"You do."

"What?" She was momentarily confused and seemed dazed but did not avert her eyes to look at him, instead, averting her gaze to her shoes.

"You do mean something to me." _You mean a lot to me._

Her head shot up, surprised. They had always managed to avoid the topic of 'them'. She, always the politician, was good at dodging questions and he, the stoic Admiral, was always good at remaining emotionless even if he felt a whirlpool of emotions. Whatever they had between them was always ignored and sometimes, the tension was unbearable and quite comical, especially if they'd just roamed into dangerous waters. One of them would always change the subject, fearing what would become of the situation if they had let it play out by itself. A sudden vivid image of her and Bill in a _compromising_ position assaulted her and she fought to keep the spreading blush from invading her cheeks.

"I do?" she asked him, knowing what his answer would be but to afraid to let her guard down. They were so close and she could feel his breath on her cheeks but yet, she refused to move closer. She was still wary.

"Yes." It was certain and entirely too nerve-wrecking for Laura. He was sure and he was in front of her. _So close…_

"Why are you doing this?" she demanded with force. The hurt that he had inflicted earlier was already starting to melt.

"Doing what?" Laura shuddered when she felt his breath caress her cheek.

"_This. _Telling me things that would change the moment things go wrong. The moment we disagree."

Laura's heart pounded awfully fast in her chest and the temperature around her spiked. Blood was rushing to her cheeks and she didn't do anything to stop it.

"My feelings towards you have never changed no matter what you did or said. It was always temporary. I've never stopped-"

She looked at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. In all the time that they had realized that there was something more than friendship between them, they had _never _ever been this close to the topic of them.

Never in such close proximity with each other as President and Admiral. That night on New Caprica was different. She wasn't President and didn't have to answer to the people. Plus, they were high on weed. It was _really_ different. Those were good times.

Bill seemed lost for words.

"Your feelings towards me?" her voice came in a rush of sweet, hot breath on him. Bill could even smell her hair, the sweet, faintly flowered scent of her hair. Her perfume. He could smell everything on her and it was intoxicating. The flush on her cheeks were affecting him and her eyes were pools of glittering green.

"Yes."

_To be continued...  
_

**A/N - What do you think? Reviews are like gifts and I would love to hear what you think! Just click on the little button below and make my day! ;o)**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - First of all, I really, really apologize for the delay in the update of this story. I've actually completed this awhile back and my computer crashed, causing me to lose the second part of this story. But it's up now and I hope that you won't be disappointed in what I've written. Enjoy!

** For Just This Moment 2/2  
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_By caramelapples_

Laura's pulse sped up and suddenly, the only_ appropriate _response she could form towards such a confession was to kiss him. His _confession _wasn't much but when it came from a man like Bill Adama, it was a confession that could sweep her off her feet. Bill was taken aback at how quickly she moved and captured his lips with hers, licking his bottom lip and pushing for entrance with her tongue into his mouth. He responded by grabbing her with him arms and pulling her as close to his body as he could while allowing her access to his mouth. Heat coursed through his body and he wondered of the source of heat was his own or from the body of the woman he kissed.

At the amount of clothes they wore, it was decided for Bill that the heat came from his own. He ran his fingers through her hair as their tongues danced together, savouring the sweetness they found in each other. They broke for air but fingers never stopped moving and Bill ran his hands up and down her back, feeling the contours and curves of the body he had so long desired. He gently nibbled at her earlobe and licked the sensitive skin at the base of her neck, relishing the tiny whimpers he heard from the woman who never whimpered. At least never in front of him.

All coherent thoughts slipped from Laura's mind. She struggled to gather her thoughts. "You chose Baltar," she gasped, breathless, grasping at straws to stay angry at Bill. They were playing with fire and Laura knew it. This was dangerous. If they went past this threshold, they could never come back to what they were.

At that moment, Bill halted and looked into her eyes, the piercing blue orbs sending molten lava running through her veins instead of blood. "I didn't choose Baltar, Laura. I didn't choose. It was not for me to choose. It was the right thing."

Laura closed her eyes, not willing to meet his gaze. Somewhere inside her mind, she knew that it was true. "The right thing..." she murmured, her mind still hazy and yet, crystal clear at the same time. "It hurts me, Bill," she whispered into his ear. "The right thing hurts me... You hurt me."

And there it was. The source of her pain, her anger and the very reason she came onboard Galactica. Tears slipped from her eyes and wet her cheeks as she turned away, feeling ashamed that her heart ruled her head when it came to Bill. When did she become so helpless? She felt Bill take hold of her face in both his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry for hurting you," he told her and kissed her tears away. "I'm sorry, Laura. I didn't realize that it would hurt you so deeply. I'm sorry." He kissed her cheeks, somehow drying her tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, pulling her into his arms as he planted kisses on her forehead. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

His hot breath on her skin sent shivers through her body and tiny goosebumps forming on her skin."I know," she said; her voice sounded small. "I'm sorry too."

Bill moved to take off her jacket, succeeded only slightly, given that he wasn't looking at what he was doing but rather focusing his attention on her neck, tasting and exploring the skin that tasted salty and yet sweet like honey. He stopped halfway and looked at her, silently asking for permission to make her his.

Laura answered wordlessly when she helped him remove her jacket and gasped in surprise at the sensations he caused when his hands found their way under her white blouse to caress the smoothness of her stomach. In one swift motion, Bill had pulled her blouse over her head and the only thing restricting him from the lovely mounts of her breasts was her bra. He grinned like a schoolboy as he had never seen more than her cleavage before and moved to nibble on the soft milky white flesh at the edge of her bra, sending jolts of electricity up and down her spine.

"Gods…" His ear picked up her little pleas and he let his hands roam her body, slipping behind her and pulling the zip down, her skirt falling from her body. _Gods, those legs. _

He looked up and Laura suddenly felt self-conscious and seemed - to him - almost painfully shy.

"You're beautiful," he breathed, assuring her that she was everything, if not more, than he had ever dreamt about. His breath became heavy as he drank in her beauty. A small giggle escaped her and he smiled. _Gods, the woman was adorable. _

"Hurry," she told him quietly and Bill obliged, quickly undressing himself with a pace that would sent most military men to shame. Clad only in his boxers, Laura couldn't help but appreciate the view and giggled again, much to his mock chagrin. "What's so funny?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing…" her voice trailed away when she realized that he was making his way to her she involuntarily backed away. "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice raising to a girlish squeal when he tackled her and they both landed on his leather couch, her on her back and him on top of her. She felt his erection against her hip and unconsciously shifted so she could feel more of him. "What are you going to do?!" she giggled as he pined her down with both hands. Her breath hitched when he kissed the valley between her breasts and made his way lower and _lower…_

He gently released her hands and slowly, tantalizingly, slid his hands down her torso until they were on her hips. He shot a look at her and she caught her hesitance. "Are you sure you want this? We can't turn back if we do this," he told her, giving her a choice to back out even though she was the one who kissed him first.

Laura inhaled deeply and looked down at him, her eyes displaying nothing but affection and _something _else for him. He was hit by the intensity of it and took a moment to stable himself. Had it been there every time she gazed at him?

"Even if we do turn back now, would we be able to _completely _forget this?" she asked softly, desire swallowing all rational thought.

She had given him an answer and it was up to him. He gazed at her and gave her hips a gentle squeeze.

"No. No we wouldn't," he answered and raked his eyes over her body. "And I wouldn't want to."

She smiled softly at him and closed her eyes. "Then we won't forget."

Her eyes flew open when she realized that he was pulling her cotton panties down from it's original position. She wriggled and lifted her hip to help him get rid of the obstructing material. Heat was pooling at her core and she ached for relief, for his touch. He ran his hands over both her thighs and slowly trailed kisses over her until he reached her apex. Laura didn't realize that she had stopped breathing until she drew a sharp breath when his thumbs opened her gently, his fingers fluttering around her core but not quite touching her where she wanted it most.

"_Please…"_

Bill leaned closer and flicked his tongue over her stiff bud, spreading her wetness with the tip of his tongue. Charges of passion and electricity flowed through her body and Laura raked her nails against the leather of his couch. "Dear _Gods…_"

He stole a glance back up at her and was mesmerized by the pure bliss and pleasure he saw on her face. She swallowed a moan as he probed her and stroked with his tongue and fingers which slowly coaxed her higher and higher until she was at the edge of the cliff before completely halting his ministrations. "_Don't stop!" _she gasped. Her eyes flew open as she let out a grunt of protest. He had moved back to kissing her mouth, exploring and drinking in the sweetness that was Laura.

Laura felt the ache at her groin throb as she had been restrained from achieving release and not so subtly moved her hand down to seek out her pending orgasm but Bill was faster than her and swiftly pulled her hand back up above her head. Holding down her left arm with one hand, he brought her other arm with his free hand and pulled it up beside her held down arm. She took rapid breaths and looked straight into his eyes.

"Not yet," Bill murmured before delving into the hollow of her neck, teasing her until she whimpered. He held a firm grip on her wrists and restricted her movements. He sucked on a stiff nipple through the fabric of her bra and nibbled on the spills of her breasts over the edge of her bra. "Get this off!" he rasped in her ear, frustrated that he couldn't feel her skin on his.

"I can't if you're holding onto my hands," she told him smugly and Bill sheepishly let her hands free. She sat up and with one hand, she reached behind her back and unhooked the clasps of her bra. His eyes glazed over at the sight of her naked body and all uncertainties that she might have harboured earlier disappeared. "You have to take of your boxers too," Laura said, keeping her gaze averted and blushing deeply.

He chuckled and did as she asked. "Certainly, Madam President."

Laura let out a yelp when he lifted her up from the couch and clung onto him tightly until he settled her down onto his rack and then joining her. He went back to relishing his newly unwrapped gifts but Laura wanted him somewhere else. Somewhere _lower_.

He hovered above her but was careful to not crush her with his weight. He sensed her impatience as she rocked her hips slightly against his, silently asking for more. Reaching down between her thighs with one hand, Bill cupped her dampness and eased two fingers inside her while he slowly stroked her clit with his thumb. She gasped, and wrapped her arms around his neck as she rocked against him, her demands coming out in blurs and Bill listened intently to her intoxicating moans.

A surprised gasp escaped her when her orgasm crashed into her like a plunge into a pool of warmth, spreading to the tips of her fingers. Her muscles clenched onto his fingers and she wrapped her arms tighter around him to keep herself from floating away, breathing against his shoulder and shuddering with the slight spasms that shook her body.

She struggled to catch her breath as he soothed her from her height by slowly stroking her, calming her sensitive core.

"You okay?" his voice a low rasp, his erection begging for attention.

She managed a nod and then purred into his ear; "I want you inside. Now."

"You sure?" He didn't want to hurt her but at the same time, he didn't know if he had the ability to remain gentle.

"Very." Her answer was confident and he found no reason to doubt what she could do.

He leaned forward for another kiss before adjusting himself and settling between her thighs. She reached down for him and firmly gripped his hard length, guiding him to her wet opening. The aching anticipation increased tenfold. The need and desire that had manifested itself since… Well, neither of them knew when it had appeared. But it didn't matter now.

"Laura…" He groaned when she ran her fingers up and down his erection, taking in the texture of it's velvety skin. She brought the tip of his penis to her opening and guided him inside, tantalizingly slow and sensuous. She was tight and Bill pushed a little harder. She gasped when he buried himself inside of her. When she had taken as much of him as she could at this angle, she wrapped her legs around him and clung tightly onto his back.

Savouring the fullness of him inside of her, she pulled herself up and kissed him, another slow kiss where their tongues stroked and danced around each other. _It had been so long… Oh Gods._

He started to thrust into her and she rolled her head back, eyes closed. The pleasure on her face was so strong that it was agony. The jolts of pleasure and very faint pain was muddling her brain and she couldn't form any coherent words even if she tried. Laura couldn't even tell what _sounds_ she was making except for that she was much louder than she had ever been before.

"Harder!" she demanded harshly and at the same time was music to his ears. She scolded, asked, begged and coaxed as Bill and the sensations he was causing became the only things in the universe she could feel.

The orgasm she had reached only moments ago became insignificant. The climax that tore through her body now caused her to scream and she saw fireworks in the darkness behind her closed eyes. She body went limp and she fell back against the mattress of his rack as he buried his face in her neck, biting back a loud shout that signalled his own release into her. "_I love you, Bill…"_she whispered, not caring if he'd heard her or not. Perhaps it was best if he didn't. If they didn't bring love into their already complicated relationship...

But love was already in their complicated relationship.

A small part of her mind was relieved that she been through menopause as they had not used protection and she giggled with the absurdity of her thoughts in the context of the moment. He breathed into her next and she ran hands in a soothing manner on his back and took deep calming breaths. The aftershock of her orgasm caused small contractions of her muscles around him and they made no move to disentangle themselves from each other.

When he moved to roll off her, she held him back to her with her arms. "Don't."

"I'm heavy, Laura."

She reluctantly released him and he moved off her body, not before kissing her forehead. She draped an arm and a leg over him and they both laid in the confined space of his rack. She was still catching her breath, her chest still heaving and she made abstract shapes on his chest and occasionally tracing the line of his faint scar.

"That was-" Laura started and fell silent, not knowing what word can be used to describe what they just had.

"Good."

Laura chuckled. "Yes, it was good." She looked up at him, noticing that he practically had the words _just been frakked _on his forehead and then snuggled closer to him. "Unexpected."

"Mind-blowing," he said and Laura felt the rumble of his chest.

She giggled.

"Laura Roslin, you are a very adorable woman." He placed a kiss on the top of her hair.

Pushing herself up on her elbow, she frowned. "I am not," she tried to glare but failed miserably as the pleased smile on her face betrayed her.

"You are-" He reached up and tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. "-frakkin' adorable," he rumbled.

"President Roslin is not adorable. She cannot afford to be adorable," Laura told him and wriggled her nose, trying to get rid of the tickle that Bill's finger caused.

Bill gripped the top of her arm and pulled her back down to him. She let him and settled back onto his rack. "I said Laura Roslin. _Not_ President Roslin."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever." Laura sighed contently before her mind once again became clouded with thoughts. "What are we going to do?"

"Enjoy this," came his ready reply.

"What are we going to do about our relationship? I mean, do we keep on doing this? Will there be a next time? There are so many problems now. Kara. Baltar. I don't think I will be able to stand to be in the same room as _your son _for the next few days and I hope I won't have too"

Bill noticed that she couldn't say Lee's name. Frankly, he couldn't either. Not after what he did to her. "I know," he offered softly.

"So many things to deal with. Can we handle this? " she raised her questions lazily. And then she tensed slightly, remembering that she had to see Cottle tomorrow for a Diloxin treatment. Was it right to put him through all that?

Bill sensed it and rubbed her arm. "What is it?"

She was silent for a moment. "My cancer."

Bill felt an irrational annoyance at the pit of his stomach towards Laura for bringing _her cancer_ up and ruining the moment. It was selfish and he knew it. "Don't spoil this, Laura," he muttered more sharply than he had intended.

"Sorry," she mumbled but didn't make any attempt to look at him.

"No, I'm sorry. I just want us to remember this as a happy thing. We're happy now, aren't we? For just this moment, I know that I am the happiest man alive. I'm not talking tomorrow, or even the next hour. I'm saying now."

"I'm happy now. For just this moment, I'm happy now," she told him and kissed his chest. "Now."

"I love you too, Laura."

She felt her heart skip a beat and finally remembered to breath not realizing that she had been holding her breath. She smiled against his chest. "You heard me, just now?"

"Yeah."

"I'm-" the words were caught in her throat. She didn't know what to say.

"Wonderful."

There was a soft giggle from her and when she didn't say more, he knew she had fallen asleep and moved to pull the blanket up to cover the both of them. For just this moment, the world disappeared and all that was left was Bill and Laura with the love they shared.

_The End_

**A/N - What do you think? Reviews are like gifts and I would love to hear what you think! Thanks for reading! ;o)**


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